Random joke thread

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theadore
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Re: Random joke thread

Post by theadore » Tue Aug 19, 2014 4:51 pm

Is there a reason the bbcs top 10 contains only 9 jokes?

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Rover the Top
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Re: Random joke thread

Post by Rover the Top » Tue Aug 19, 2014 5:25 pm

They needed something funny in the article?

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Gibbon
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Re: Random joke thread

Post by Gibbon » Tue Aug 19, 2014 6:13 pm

Maybe there were only nine jokes this year. :yeahright:

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rob_of_the_robots
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Re: Random joke thread

Post by rob_of_the_robots » Tue Aug 19, 2014 8:21 pm

One of the ones in the comments section was better.
I had a friend who was feeling a bit down and depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. Now he's chuffed to bits.

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Gibbon
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Re: Random joke thread

Post by Gibbon » Tue Aug 19, 2014 8:47 pm

I'd say 8 of the 9 were pretty crap - some of them exceedingly so, but this one is brilliant.
Masai Graham wrote:"I've written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldn't fit it into my set"

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Rovertheseas
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Re: Random joke thread

Post by Rovertheseas » Wed Aug 20, 2014 6:11 am

I liked
"Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his job in disaster relief" - Mark Watson.

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Rover the Top
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Re: Random joke thread

Post by Rover the Top » Wed Aug 20, 2014 8:19 am

Gibbon wrote:Maybe there were only nine jokes this year. :yeahright:
Why didn't they make the list instead, then?

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Re: Random joke thread

Post by Savory » Wed Aug 20, 2014 8:34 am

My parents always used to sit and listen to Cliff Richard when I was younger.

Instead of actually coming in my room and stopping him.

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mrblackbat
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Re: Random joke thread

Post by mrblackbat » Wed Aug 20, 2014 11:03 am

A - HA - HA - HA - HA - HA - HA - HA - HA - HA - HA - HA - HA - HA - HA - HA - HA - HA - HA - HA

:cry:

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Dan
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Re: Random joke thread

Post by Dan » Wed Aug 20, 2014 11:50 am

My wife comes out of the shower and stands in front of the mirror,complaining:
"Look at these boobs, they're far to small, I really want a boob job, they just look so tiny and pointless"

"I'm not sure we can afford that" I said, "That's expensive these days, and the NHS won't cover it."
"I've got a better idea though, if you want them to grow, take a piece of toilet roll and rub it between them, up and down your chest, for a few seconds about four times a day. In a few months you'll notice they're definitely getting bigger."

"Really?" she said, grabbing the toilet roll, "Does that actually work?"

"Well it worked for your arse, didn't it!?"

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theadore
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Re: Random joke thread

Post by theadore » Wed Aug 20, 2014 1:26 pm

Rovertheseas wrote:I liked
"Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his job in disaster relief" - Mark Watson.
Its not a patch on Harry Hill's...
"My father used to say 'Fight fire with fire', and then he was kicked out of the fire brigade"

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mrblackbat
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Re: Random joke thread

Post by mrblackbat » Wed Aug 20, 2014 3:41 pm

Dan wrote:My wife comes out of the shower and stands in front of the mirror,complaining:
"Look at these boobs, they're far to small, I really want a boob job, they just look so tiny and pointless"

"I'm not sure we can afford that" I said, "That's expensive these days, and the NHS won't cover it."
"I've got a better idea though, if you want them to grow, take a piece of toilet roll and rub it between them, up and down your chest, for a few seconds about four times a day. In a few months you'll notice they're definitely getting bigger."

"Really?" she said, grabbing the toilet roll, "Does that actually work?"

"Well it worked for your arse, didn't it!?"
:?

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Re: Random joke thread

Post by Rover the Top » Thu Aug 21, 2014 8:10 am

He's implying his anecdotal missus has a large bottom... ;)

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mrblackbat
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Re: Random joke thread

Post by mrblackbat » Thu Aug 21, 2014 9:35 am

Really?!?!?!?

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Rover the Top
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Re: Random joke thread

Post by Rover the Top » Thu Aug 21, 2014 9:55 am

Yes.

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