So...anyone know any good jokes?

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Re: So...anyone know any good jokes?

Post by ariversider » Fri Nov 07, 2008 10:33 am

Rover the Top wrote:I can't see that one being used in a war...

I'll have a go, but I should warn you that this is from a Jimmy Carr gig, and if you've seen his stand-up material, you'll know you need to be in a certain frame of mind to appreciate it... so just imagine you're well into the set, and that 'good taste' is a dim and distant memory. Jimmy has chosen to re-write some familiar children's jokes...

What's black and white and red all over?

Early Soviet cinema...
At the show i saw - one of the audiences suggestions was "A zebra in a blender"

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Re: So...anyone know any good jokes?

Post by garnersfreshpint » Thu Jan 08, 2009 11:40 pm

A very loud, fat, greasy, unattractive, chav type woman wearing a Burnley shirt walked into ASDA in Blackburn with her two “ompaloompa” kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
The ASDA greeter said pleasantly, 'Good morning Madam, and welcome to ASDA. Nice children you have there. Are they twins by any chance?'
The ugly fat woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'F*ckin ‘ell, course they're not twins ya twat. The oldest one's 9, and the other’s 7. Why the f*ckin ‘ell do ya think they're twins?
Are you blind, thick, stupid or just a f*ckin cheese eater?'
'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Madam,’ replied the greeter, “I just couldn't believe you've been shagged twice”!
Have a good day, and thank you for shopping at ASDA. :wave:

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Re: So...anyone know any good jokes?

Post by Gibbon » Fri Jan 09, 2009 10:32 am


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