Calling all parents

[Gibbon]

I thought we had enough being brought in to be induced at Sunday 10pm (Mrs RTT's waters broke the night before without baby making much of a move). They didn't get on with the induction until 9:30am Monday, then insisted on keeping us in for 24 hours after the birth as a box ticking exercise.

Ouch. With our first the wife was admitted at 10pm on Sunday and then Igor arrived at 6.25am on Tuesday morning just as they were begining to consider induction. Our second, we were admitted at 1.30am and she was born at 4.20am the same morning. I think the second is commonly easier than the first.

I wouldn't mind being kept awake at 11pm, Ziora seems to think wake up time is 3am! Don't know if it's a universal thing, but I've found I can calm her down a lot of the time by bouncing her gently as I walk around and making long shushing sounds near her ear. If that fails, then it's pass her over to mum for a feed.

Sounds familiar. Also, we found some noise could help. With both of ours it was a loop of white noise or the sound of a shower/rainfall/stream that worked best.

[Rover the Top]

I thought we had enough being brought in to be induced at Sunday 10pm (Mrs RTT's waters broke the night before without baby making much of a move). They didn't get on with the induction until 9:30am Monday, then insisted on keeping us in for 24 hours after the birth as a box ticking exercise.

Ouch. With our first the wife was admitted at 10pm on Sunday and then Igor arrived at 6.25am on Tuesday morning just as they were begining to consider induction. Our second, we were admitted at 1.30am and she was born at 4.20am the same morning. I think the second is commonly easier than the first.

It was Mrs RTT's third. Her plan was to wait as long as possible to go to hospital, but that went out the window. But then having given us a time to come in, the first midwife allocated to us was coming to the end of her shift and clearly didn't give a shit. Three hours after she said she was going to find a doctor, another midwife came in and went through all the admittance procedure again. The midwife and student who took over and oversaw the induction were excellent. But when they went on lunch, the woman who covered was a nightmare. She kept moving things around the room and leaving us alone - she did an exam, muttered something about another drip and left me for 10 minutes trying to calm my wife who was now panicking that something was seriously wrong. In actual fact, apart from needing the induction to get things moving, the labour went well and baby was born to a bonfire night firework display starting.

But then they picked up a heart murmur the following day and the first doctor gave us an afternoon of worry saying we couldn't leave the hospital and we'd have to wait until 6pm before they could decide what to do. At 6pm another doctor came in, explained what it was and said they just need to wait 24 hours after birth to discharge us to see if it goes or if we need a follow up appointment in 6 weeks. Don't know why the first doctor didn't just say that.

[Gibbon]

What a mess. Glad it all worked out okay.

[Dan]

I'm obviously evil

Finally you admit it!

To be fair, you've clearly spent years on here arguing with yourself across a couple of accounts

I'm Rover the moon

[Rover the Top]

To be fair, you've clearly spent years on here arguing with yourself across a couple of accounts

I'm Rover the moon

It's quite a serious split personality disorder...

[Dan]

Firstly, congratulations! But 9 days? I hope mum and baby are okay. I thought we had enough being brought in to be induced at Sunday 10pm (Mrs RTT's waters broke the night before without baby making much of a move). They didn't get on with the induction until 9:30am Monday, then insisted on keeping us in for 24 hours after the birth as a box ticking exercise.

Thanks. Both are absolutely fine. We'd been booked in to be induced for a while, the baby was apparently on the small side so as a precaution they decided they wanted to induce at 37 weeks and asked us to give them a call on the morning she became 37 weeks pregnant. We called at 7:30am Saturday morning and were in the hospital by 9. They began the induction, but the baby clearly had other ideas and refused to budge.
The annoying thing was all the consultants in the maternity unit agreed that 37 weeks is too early for induction, it probably wouldn't work, and they had no idea why we had been told to come in (but now you're here we'll try anyway...). By Monday nothing was happening so we had a C-Section booked for the Tuesday. That went absolutely fine, but the cut off for "normal size baby" is 2.5Kg. She was 2.49(!) so had to be monitored for an additional 5 days in hospital rather than 24 hours to make sure she was putting on the required weight etc. She was absolutely fine, but to be honest, as draining as it was, it was great to have help for five full days and nights initially while we were both clueless.

But most of the problem was with various members of staff making it all more stressful than necessary. And the fact maternity units seem to treat men like garages treat women.

I found the same. Ours was running a trial allowing dads to stay on the wards overnight, which was nice for me as I didn't have to leave them and nice for Mrs Dan as she was recovering from the operation and needed support, but they had made absolutely no provision to make this comfortable. There was nothing to sleep in but a plastic chair, they refused to even make me a drink when they were doing the tea/coffee rounds (It's for patients only), and finding the only mens' toilet meant being let out of a secure ward, going down two flights of stairs and heading towards another department.

I wouldn't mind being kept awake at 11pm, Ziora seems to think wake up time is 3am! Don't know if it's a universal thing, but I've found I can calm her down a lot of the time by bouncing her gently as I walk around and making long shushing sounds near her ear. If that fails, then it's pass her over to mum for a feed.

We've turned a corner the last couple of nights thanks to the amazing Ewan the Dream Sheep It calms her right down after a minute or two, playing heartbeat and 'womb' sounds that she's been listening to for the last 9 months, and it's actually quite soothing when I need to drift off as well

[Rover the Top]

Firstly, congratulations! But 9 days? I hope mum and baby are okay. I thought we had enough being brought in to be induced at Sunday 10pm (Mrs RTT's waters broke the night before without baby making much of a move). They didn't get on with the induction until 9:30am Monday, then insisted on keeping us in for 24 hours after the birth as a box ticking exercise.

Thanks. Both are absolutely fine. We'd been booked in to be induced for a while, the baby was apparently on the small side so as a precaution they decided they wanted to induce at 37 weeks and asked us to give them a call on the morning she became 37 weeks pregnant. We called at 7:30am Saturday morning and were in the hospital by 9. They began the induction, but the baby clearly had other ideas and refused to budge.
The annoying thing was all the consultants in the maternity unit agreed that 37 weeks is too early for induction, it probably wouldn't work, and they had no idea why we had been told to come in (but now you're here we'll try anyway...). By Monday nothing was happening so we had a C-Section booked for the Tuesday. That went absolutely fine, but the cut off for "normal size baby" is 2.5Kg. She was 2.49(!) so had to be monitored for an additional 5 days in hospital rather than 24 hours to make sure she was putting on the required weight etc. She was absolutely fine, but to be honest, as draining as it was, it was great to have help for five full days and nights initially while we were both clueless.

Glad to hear all is ok. They were adamant throughout that we were going to have a giant baby, even when the early scans showed it bang in the middle size wise. The later scans were suggesting 9 1/2 lbs, yet when she turned up 15 days late she was weighed at 8 lbs 6 and even then that seems too big looking at her. First thing we had to do was buy a load more clothes for her because everything we had was too big!

And the ward was the same for me - sleep in a chair, feel like you're putting them out by asking for a blanket, have to pay for drinks and food only available for the mother. At least there was a visitors toilet without me needing to leave the floor though. And the doctors and nurses wouldn't talk to me about my own child, they only wanted to speak to the mother. To be fair the two midwives who were with us during the induction were different, they were happy to make me feel involved.

[mrblackbat]

You were at Stepping Hill right? I thought they were all ace while we were there. And no qualms at all about sleeping in a chair or paying for a coffee. Beds for the new mums, innit.

[Gibbon]

I slept on the floor in the corner. Twas fine.

The staff at Jessops in Sheffield were fantastic though, as were the ones here in Devon. Maybe we’ve been lucky.

Also, birthing pools, if the situation allows, are wonderful.

[Rover the Top]

And no qualms at all about sleeping in a chair or paying for a coffee. Beds for the new mums, innit.

Bizarre response - it's not a question of either/or? Is there any good reason why providing care for mum necessitates a lack of hospitality towards partners? It all seems a bit 19th century to me still. I guess part of my gripe is that we'd booked one of the en suite rooms with the recliners, only to be told they'd messed up and given it to someone else.

[mrblackbat]

I think it is an either/or. There's only so much space in a hospital for beds. I'd rather on a maternity ward they dedicated that space to new mums. I'd rather they didn't spend budget on free drinks for Dads compared to all the other things they could spend money on to assist with ensuring that the actual child birthing and post natal treatment is at it's best. I'd rather the midwives spent their time looking after the mothers who've just given birth than worrying about a dad who is perfectly able of getting up and walking about, or bringing a blanket.

Now if your gripe was you'd booked a room and didn't get it, especially given you need to pay extra for those, then fair enough; but that's not what you initially said. But for the rest: finite resources being well used, in my opinion.

[Rover the Top]

I think it is an either/or. There's only so much space in a hospital for beds. I'd rather on a maternity ward they dedicated that space to new mums. I'd rather they didn't spend budget on free drinks for Dads compared to all the other things they could spend money on to assist with ensuring that the actual child birthing and post natal treatment is at it's best. I'd rather the midwives spent their time looking after the mothers who've just given birth than worrying about a dad who is perfectly able of getting up and walking about, or bringing a blanket.

Now if your gripe was you'd booked a room and didn't get it, especially given you need to pay extra for those, then fair enough; but that's not what you initially said. But for the rest: finite resources being well used, in my opinion.

Well maybe you just have a very old fashioned view of the role of the partner (note, doesn't have to just be a "dad") in bringing a child into the world. Given that she'd just given birth, my wife wanted me by her side to help since I was "perfectly able of getting up and walking about", and hence could do things to make her stay more comfortable and easy. If I wasn't there, then it would be the nurses getting called in to do more trivial tasks when their attention could be focussed on their area of expertise. But that's obviously what will happen if the partner is forced to leave the hospital in search of food and drink because they've not had anything for 48 hours. The NHS pisses plenty of money away, I doubt it's the fresh fruit and coffee budget that's doing the damage. And the attitude of the staff is nothing to do with "finite resources", it costs nothing for them to be polite and not aggravate unnecessary worry.

You seem to be trying to take some chivalrous line that the men should suffer for the benefit of the women - but the point is the mothers would gain more if their partners were better accommodated (should they want their partner there, of course).

[mrblackbat]

I think it is an either/or. There's only so much space in a hospital for beds. I'd rather on a maternity ward they dedicated that space to new mums. I'd rather they didn't spend budget on free drinks for Dads compared to all the other things they could spend money on to assist with ensuring that the actual child birthing and post natal treatment is at it's best. I'd rather the midwives spent their time looking after the mothers who've just given birth than worrying about a dad who is perfectly able of getting up and walking about, or bringing a blanket.

Now if your gripe was you'd booked a room and didn't get it, especially given you need to pay extra for those, then fair enough; but that's not what you initially said. But for the rest: finite resources being well used, in my opinion.

Well maybe you just have a very old fashioned view of the role of the partner (note, doesn't have to just be a "dad") in bringing a child into the world. Given that she'd just given birth, my wife wanted me by her side to help since I was "perfectly able of getting up and walking about", and hence could do things to make her stay more comfortable and easy. If I wasn't there, then it would be the nurses getting called in to do more trivial tasks when their attention could be focussed on their area of expertise. But that's obviously what will happen if the partner is forced to leave the hospital in search of food and drink because they've not had anything for 48 hours. The NHS pisses plenty of money away, I doubt it's the fresh fruit and coffee budget that's doing the damage. And the attitude of the staff is nothing to do with "finite resources", it costs nothing for them to be polite and not aggravate unnecessary worry.

You seem to be trying to take some chivalrous line that the men should suffer for the benefit of the women - but the point is the mothers would gain more if their partners were better accommodated (should they want their partner there, of course).

Having been present when a newborn was brought into the world, I know for a fact it's a piece of cake being the partner, compared to the mother; even if you have to go and find food and drink. In fact there are some huge benefits to taking a break in any case.

It's got zero to do with chivalry and everything to do with the fact the partner is orders of magnitude less important after a baby's birth.

And lastly: did you not pack a bag with the stuff you needed?

[Rover the Top]

Now you seem to be doing a hatty and ignoring what's said to you, so good day to you.

[theadore]

Its so nice you guys have this place to share these heartwarming fraternal moments...